tommoseyelashes replied to your post: lbh i’m pretty sure lilo have made out quite often and quite heavily esp. when on tourlike i’m sure there were nights where louis couldn’t sleep and he’d just creep into liam’s bunk and just lay there until liam realized he was so super lonely and he’d just kiss him till he felt better and i made myself sad D:
and it’s nice and easy for a while because it’s them it’s liamandlouis they don’t have to give a name to it or try to define it because it’s just /them/ it’s comfort and safety and it was supposed to stay easy but somehow lazy comfort kisses turn frantic and /needy/ and it leaves louis gasping and gradually the air between them gets so thick he feels like they could /drown/ in it and it’s—they don’t talk about it though and maybe louis asks one night quiet and breathless into that thick air between them “we’re okay, yeah?” and liam smiles and says “of course” and even though his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes louis wants to believe it so he does and he just buries himself into liam’s shirt and tries to breathe in /real air/ that he’s sure must exist somewhere
but their kisses have changed now and louis’ sort of not sure if they’re just doing it for comfort anymore or if he is but he puts in a little box at the back of his mind but it can’t stay shut for long not when everything’s starting to seep through the gaps and it doesn’t
it’s the last uk show and his emotions are too amplified and this time when he slips into liam’s bed there’s a shift in the air and liam must have felt it too because comfort kisses turn to frantic turn to slow and—/intent/ and then they aren’t /just/ kissing anymore and the box is wide fucking open and the contents of it all spilled out for liam to see and shit—this isn’t so easy anymore
and liam realizes that the sharp prickling edges of everything he’s been treading on for the last few weeks with louis are actually breaking skin—he’s actually starting to bleed everywhere, and his feelings are all seeping into louis’s skin whenever they touch and he wants to stop himself, puts pressure on the wound, because louis doesn’t want that, that’s not what he got into this for, that’s not what he needs and fuck all if he’s not going to give louis what he needs and /only/ what he needs because this isn’t something he’s gonna let himself be selfish about; he can’t let himself be selfish about this when louis was the one that needed him in the first place
but he can feel himself losing hold of that a little bit more every single time louis pants into his neck and rocks his hips and whimpers his name into his ear, near-silent in the back of the bus and the one time that louis lets it slip (oh fuck liam god i love you) all in a run-on, barely coherent sentence like it’s barely a second thought, he just. lets it go. and bleeds.
FUCK BOTH OF YOU I AM THROWING UP BLOOD EVERYWHERE I CAN’T BREATHE BECAUSE THERE’S TOO MUCH FUCKING LILO EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE I AM DYING DYING
do you guys remember when all we used were those one direction reaction gifs omg like
harry is perfect because one second he’s like
but then a minute later he’s like
Under here lies a large amount of text in which I babble incoherently about two idiots doing stupid things.
Niall Horan: Can I Be Close To You